Had a crushing last few weeks. Finished my Pediatrics rotation, which was very productive. I've begun my second Med-Surg rotation. Since I got a very low lottery number in registration, I was able to get the instructor I wanted, Ms. B., a very funny, strong-willed French lady who is one of the best teachers of any subject I've had in my life. As I'm fond of saying that she rides you like a five dollar burro, but you learn a ton. She understands that time management is going to be one of our big issues when we're nurses, but also wants to make sure we can think critically.

Last weekend, Kim and Mel went out of town, and it was just Adam and I. I took a rare Saturday night off-- an expensive proposition, but needed, I thought, to spend some time with him. He's missed the most time with me of everybody. Last Saturday, we hung out together, and my best friend Jim came by. We watched an old movie, "Start The Revolution Without Me," which I used to watch with my father whenever it was on television. Neither Jim nor Adam had ever seen it, so it was really fun to watch it with them.

My son and I got to talk a lot. I'd been concerned about him. At the end of last summer, his cousin, my ex's nephew, died at the age of 28. He was more like a brother to my son-- a really nice kid. I came to the conclusion, at the end of the weekend, that he's dealing with it as well as one could expect.

Over the weekend, we had a bunch of great talks. He amazes me sometimes. He's dealt with so much-- he has to deal with my ex- way more than I have to. And yet, he thrives-- he's just unbelievably smart. He talks about history, economics, philosophy and understands Game Theory way better than I ever did when I studied it in Grad school. He's got an incredible intellectual curiousity; we walked over to our local little bookstore and I gave him some money to buy any book he wanted. He chose a book about the famine in China that was caused by Chairman Mao's disastrous policies. How may sixteen year olds do you know who would choose to read about this? He's fascinated by economics and government policy. But above all of that stuff, he is just a genuinely nice person. I couldn't be prouder of him.

In less than two weeks, he turns 17. I'm having trouble getting my head around that. There are times where I feel like it's been only six months since I was holding him on my lap feeding him. I know that he is going to love college, but I can't believe he's almost there.

In other news, my daughter's school basketball team went to the playoffs. They won the first round, but were knocked out in the next round, in a game this evening. I was really proud of my daughter; she played aggressively and well. I hope that this summer we can find some time to play together.

I spent some time tonight doing some online case studies for the Pediatrics HESI test (a preparation for the nursing boards) that I'm taking Monday morning. It's a little staggering to know that I'm so close to finishing this all-- ten weeks left. I'm amazed at how much I have learned, and I'm amazed at how much I have to learn. I've come to the realization that I'm entering a field that I can spend a lifetime learning in. And I'm pretty damned good with that.


1. The Times They Are A'Changin'- Bob Dylan
2. Queen Jane Approximately- Bob Dylan
3. Will The Circle Be Unbroken- Asleep At The Wheel
4. To Be Young- Ryan Adams
5. Car Jamming- The Clash
6. Don't Take Your Guns To Town- Johnny Cash
7. Dock Of the Bay- Otis Redding
8. I Think It Was the Wine- Corky Seigel
9. The Needle And The Spoon- Lynnrd Skynnrd
10. Blues With A Feeling- The Paul Butterfield Blues Band


Notes:
1. One of the hallmark songs of the sixties. Also at the beginning of the movie "Watchmen," which I got for Christmas.
2. From "Highway 61 Revisited," one of my "desert island" albums.
3. A great old standard served up by Asleep At the Wheel on the great album "Served Live."
4. Love this song. If you've ever seen "Old School," it's the song played at the beginning of the movie.
5. From "Combat Rock," and album that came out 29 years ago. Can you believe it?
6. Some classic Cash
7. I never, ever get tired of hearing this song, or singing it and playing it on guitar. A post-humous number 1 for the immensely talented Mr. Redding.
8. I friggin' love this song, which sums up a lot of my younger years. My parents used to see Seigel at Big John's, a club in Chicago's Lincoln Park neighorhood back in the late sixties.
9. Skynnrd warning about dope.
10. Another band my folks used to see at Big John's in the sixties.

A Few of My Favorite Things: My Toronto Blue Jays Mug

I had a twelve hour clinical shift today. I've adapted to the twelve hour days pretty well-- that's the kind of shift I'll be working in nursing, in all likelihood-- but I had to work last night, so ended up getting less than four hours of sleep. This is my last long clinical of the semester, indeed of nursing school. Life goes on.

I'd been promising (or threatening) a new feature, "A Few Of My Favorite Things." I haven't been blogging nearly enough, and since I crashed for a couple of hours after coming home from clinicals and having dinner, I've got a little energy to blog.

With full time school, full time work and parenting two teenagers, coffee has become the elixir of life to me. I tend to drink coffee in the late afternoon and early evening to extend a day that by then has become long, and frequently after a nap. I acquired the treasured Toronto Blue Jays cup through a job. Larry T. a guy I have worked for on and off over the years is one of the more remarkable people I've ever known. I first worked for him in the late eighties in a deli he co-owned. I continued to work for him at a barbecue joint he owned.

Larry, an African-American guy from the south side of Chicago, is intelligent, funny and gregarious. On a trip to Toronto, a city he loves as much as I do, he met a couple of other restauranteurs, who sent him home with a bunch of little gifts, including a Toronto Blue Jays coffee cup-- the one pictured above.

The 1993 World Series, between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Toronto Blue Jays, was one of my favorites. One of my favorite-ever baseball players, Joe Carter, who had at one time played for my beloved Cubs, was the hero of that series, a moment I recounted in this post a couple of years ago. In fact, I was working at Larry's barbecue joint watching it on television.

The mug sat around the restaurant for ages before I realized that it was eventually just going to get broken or lost. I took it home to make sure it had a good home.

In my post about the Joe Carter World Series game, I recounted how at the time of that game, I was awaiting the birth of my son and an uncertain fate, and that how that moment was my favorite moment in a World Series until seeing that son pitch in a little league world series over a decade later. When I have a simple cup of coffee (always black, no sugar) from that cup, it's a reminder of my son, a reminder of my friend Larry, whom I'm still friends with, and a reminder of how great a game baseball can be.

Last week I got on Ebay to get one more thing to go along with the mug: a 1993 Joe Carter Toronto Blue Jays baseball card, which I will frame and put in a place of honor.

The "Three Months To Go" Friday Random Ten

Today marks three months to go to two milestones: graduation from nursing school and my 50th birthday. Today I thought a lot back to a time two years ago when I was waiting to find out whether I got into Truman College's nursing program. Lots of things seemed a long time away-- hearing about nursing school, my 50th birthday and my son's 18th birthday. Now the first two are a quarter of a year away, and the last one is just a little over a year away. The last one means that my son--and I-- no longer have to deal with the decisions of an angry, capricious and emotionally stunted person, my ex.

In the meantime, I had my first test of my final semester on Monday. I was nervous as hell about it, but it turned out well-- after thinking it was going to be a "throwaway" test that I'd have to do better on another test to make up for, I got an "A." It was the lowest possible A, but an A nonetheless.

I had another good moment in school last Sunday. For all the things I've done in this life, I had zero experience in the medical field. Everything I've done, from cleaning up an adult to giving a shot (or 60 or 70 one day when I gave a bunch of people flu shots), to giving a heparin shot with a tiny needle or an Accucheck blood sugar test, it's all been outside of my comfort zone. I've taken some pride in being able to do that, to step outside of my comfort zone, but often found myself relieved when I was able to avoid some new skill for a while. This last Sunday, during clinical, our patient (we had a low "census" so my partner and I had to "share" a patient) was being discharged, and so we had to discontinue the IV on our patient, a 42 day old baby. I jumped at the chance to do it. It was one more skill I could add to my bag of tricks. My instructor supervised, and I removed the IV. For the first time, I wasn't nervous at all. I'd come to the realization that with the right instruction and instructor, I can master each skill. It was a nice moment.

I've got a couple more weeks in my Pediatric rotation, and one more test. I'm looking forward to my next one, my second Med-Surg rotation, with one of my favorite clinical instructors, a crazy French lady who is rigorous, humorous and inspiring.

In one of my favorite movies-- a mini-series, actually, "From the Earth to the Moon," there is a scene in which the crew of Apollo 9, a mission that was to test the Lunar Module, a piece of equipment that had huge difficulties in the development, rattled off all the "firsts" that their mission would have. They would have difficulty finishing half of the things, let alone all of them. Yet, the commander of the mission enthusiastically says "I can't wait!"

These last two clinical days, I came to a several realizations. One was that the nurses who were actually responsible for the patients we were working with had complete confidence in us. We checked in with them, told them what we were doing, asked them relevant questions and all, but in the end, we went in and gave care to those patients. Secondly, the patients' parents had complete confidence in us. They asked us questions, and when we told them things-- things to watch for after discharge, etc.-- they listened and took note.

The last was that I have confidence in myself. Nearly five years ago, I was told that I was not going to be retained in the teaching job I loved and thought I'd work until I retired. My confidence was shaken to the core. I felt pretty shitty about it. Now, five years later, I'm feeling pretty damned good. The asshole in me wants to send a card to my old principal, the one who made the decision not to retain me, when I graduate.


1. Funky Kingston- Toots and the Maytalls
2. Find Somebody- The Rascals
3. Dancing in Heaven- Q-Feel
4. Just a Closer Walk With Thee- Joan Baez
5. Everything Is Beautiful- Ray Stevens
6. I Believe- Don Williams
7. School Days- Chuck Berry
8. What's On My Mind- Kansas
9. I'm Gonna Make Me Love You- Diana Ross and the Supremes with the Temptations
10. Five Feet High and Rising- Johnny Cash



Notes:
1. I find this song hard not to dance around to. Infectious.
2. Not one of their better-known songs, but a great one. Discovered it through Little Steven's Underground Garage.
3. An eighties one-hit wonder
4. Joan taking a walk down the gospel lane
5. Mr. Stevens was known for his humorous song, but his one was serious and with a lovely message.
6. Mr. Williams wrote hits for other, including Eric Clapton's "Living On Tulsa Time," but this beauty was a hit for him.
7. A solid classic from Chuck.
8. First heard this one when I started listening to FM radio in high school in the mid seventies. Still a favorite.
9. The Supremes with the Temptations? There was no way they were gonna miss!
10. Johnny Cash singing about a flood or train crash or prison? Go figure.

The "Snow Up The Yin-Yang" Friday Random Ten

Sorry for the long absence from posting; I've been keeping up with my favorite bloggers, but haven't had the energy, given the circumstances, to post much.

As most people know, we got socked by a blizzard here in Chicago. It's made life a little more crazy than normal. I'm sore head to toe-- not only from shoveling snow, but from a spill I took down the back porch steps-- ironically while going to the basement to get a bottle of wine.

I am partaking in the infamous Chicago "dibsing;" the placing of lawn chairs, brooms, garbage cans, etc. to stake out a space you spent hours digging out for you car, and in my case, my wife's car as well. Above is my neighbor's "dibs," which scores high in every area of classic dibs: variety of material, ugliness and overkill. He also scored points for clearly being drunk when I saw him with his nephews digging out the space at 11:30 in the morning.

Tonight is a night in with my kids and two of their friends. My wife and her friend (the mother of one of the kids) are going to a meet and greet with Rahm Emanuel, who's the likely next mayor of Chicago (she just posted this picture of herself with him on Facebook). Besides spending time with the kids, I'll also been hitting the books; I'm assuming that although my school was closed on Wednesday that our test will go as planned on Monday, since the material on Wednesday wasn't going to be on the test. I've realized lately how bloody exhausted I am, but keep reminding myself that there's only about three months left to this journey. Plus, I got a little added incentive. This week they announced graduation day: May 11. It happens to be my 50th birthday. Finishing this program would be the best 50th birthday present I could give myself.


1. Real Man- Todd Rundgren
2. Beautiful Brother of Mind- Curtis Mayfield
3. Silver, Blue and Gold- Bad Company
4. Joker Went Wild- Bryan Hyland
5. Valley of the Dolls- Dionne Warwick
6. I Can't Tell You Why- The Eagles
7. Sean Flynn- The Clash
8. Mississippi- Bob Dylan
9. Talkin' About You- The Rolling Stones
10. Lady Madonna- The Beatles


Notes:
1. First heard this one on WXRT, our local "Prog Rock" station in the late seventies. Still one of my favorites.
2. This guy, who grew up in the projects here in Chicago was amazing. His son roomed with a friend of mine at Eastern Illinois University.
3. A guilty seventies pleasure; I love these guys. They wrote a ton of great songs.
4. One of many hits Mr. Hyland had.
5. Love Ms. Warwick's voice, especially when she's singing the songs of Burt Bacharach and Hal David.
6. The one hit of theirs sung by newcomer Timothy B. Schmidt.
7. About the combat photographer Sean Flynn, who happened to be the son of the actor Errol Flynn. He disappeared with another photographer near the Cambodian border while covering the Vietnam War, and is widely assumed to have been murdered by the Khmer Rouge. I read a New York Times article about a year ago about a friend of his, a fellow combat photographer, who is still trying to solve the mystery of his disappearance.
8. From the great "Love & Theft" album.
9. From "December's Children."
10; One of the songs Paul penned. A few years back, I saw Yoko refered to Paul as "Solieri to John's Mozart." Not only was this an ungracious thing to say, it's wrong. Paul is a phenomenal songwriter.

The Depths of Winter Friday Random Ten

Yesterday I had an epiphany: it's right around now, the third week of January every year, that I begin to really hate winter. It arrived right on schedule yesterday.

Had a busy, busy week. I went back to school this week. It was great seeing all the friends I've made over the last few years there. I ran into a couple of friends who dropped out last year who are trying it again, successfully, it would appear, this time.

In the meantime, I'm waiting; waiting for a supplementary textbook I ordered a few days ago, and mainly waiting for a couple of pairs of glasses I ordered. I had realized that I pretty much had a headache all the time. I thought that it was because of the stress of juggling full time school, full time work, kids and a marriage. I realized a couple of weeks ago that it may have had to do more with an outdated glasses prescription. I thought about waiting until I was done with school, but thought better of it. I went in for an exam and discovered that my last exam was in August of 2007. No wonder I was getting headaches. This prescription was my first bifocal one. Both my reading and distance had changed significantly. I got a good deal on a two pairs. No bells or whistles except for the bifocals being lines-free, which was included in the special deal they had. I'll have to wait until after school to get the thinner lenses, non-glare, etc.


1. Living In Hard Times- Wendy Waldman
2. Rock and Roll Niggah- Patti Smith
3. Hello Stranger- Barbara Lewis
4. Things Have Changed- Bob Dylan
5. Queen of Hearts- Gregg Allman
6. Sugar Man- Rodriguez
7. Althea- The Grateful Dead
8. C'est La Vie- Robbie Nevil
9. 30 Days- Chuck Berry
10. Understand Your Man- Johnny Cash


Notes:
1. Ms. Waldman's written hits for other people, but I loved this song of hers performed by her that came out in the mid-eighties.
2. Patti Smith deconstructs and redefines the "n-word" brilliantly in this song.
3. Ms. Lewis is a Chicago native.
4. Dylan at his dourest.
5. A beautiful smoky song.
6. Rodriguez has been a pretty recent discovery for me. Great political singer-songwriter who's being rediscovered these days.
7. From the "Go To Heaven" album.
8. This guy was one of my one-hit-wonders. Didn't know he was white until I bought the single back in the day.
9. I'm hoping Mr. Berry is doing better; he collapsed onstage here in Chicago about a month ago.
10. Listening to this one, I realized that musically and thematically, Dylan's "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" is nearly a rewrite.
7.

Some Random Thoughts

I had some random thoughts, none of which were enough for a stand-alone post.

Regarding the Wikileaks...

I had mixed feelings on this, particularly as someone old enough to have grown up with the Watergate scandal brewing. I absolutely want as much transparency in government as possible. On the other hand, there is a need for some secrecy; there are some bad people and bad governments out there in the world. But the thing I find a little funny is the shock that American diplomacy involved secret meetings, dealing with some allies that are neither good nor reliable, backdoor deals-- isn't this pretty much how diplomacy has always worked?

Regarding the horrific event in Tuscon this last weekend...

When the behavior and words of the alleged perpetrator became public, I knew right away the guy was a paranoid schizophrenic. When I did the psychiatric leg of my clinicals last semester, I worked with a number of paranoid schizophrenics, and the behavior is remarkably similar in paranoid schizophrenics: delusions of grandeur, paranoia, jumbled ideas, the idea that the government and others are spying on them, increasing isolation, etc. The only unusual thing is the violence; people suffering from that particular mental illness are rarely violent. They generally just start avoiding contact with others.

The family should have gotten him started on some kind of treatment for two reasons. One, he needed it; there are effective treatments for what he probably has. Secondly, if they'd had him in treatment at any point, he wouldn't have been able to purchase a weapon. His family dropped the ball, and a bunch of people paid the price.

Lastly, regarding Fred Phelps and the Westboro Church...

The Arizona State Legislature passed emergency legislation to prevent demonstrations within a certain distance of a funeral. The jagoff Phelps and his whack-job church plans on circumventing this by tying up a nearby intersection. I'd throw this thought out. Some years back, my son's mother for some reason lived in a really bad neighborhood-- I think she was trying to show me that despite being a rich girl who grew up in the suburbs, she could be "urban." So when ghetto people started sitting on her stoop drinking "40's," she asked me what she should do. I don't remember where I read or heard this, but I gave her a suggestion that ended up working. You pour ammonia all over the steps. The ammonia makes it unbearable for an hour or two, and they end up moving somewhere else. The ammonia evaporates, and is therefore relatively innocuous environmentally in the long term. Just a thought...

The "Getting Ready For The Final Sprint" Friday Random Ten

For being on vacation, I've been insanely busy, both at home and work. I'm still trying to finish off some big projects here, and the restaurant seems to be reflecting the general upturn in the economy; it's been good and busy, easing some of my money worries.

I found out on Wednesday that David, who, along with his wife Kathy, was one of my favorite regulars, passed away on December 22nd. He was someone who was an absolute delight. He was retired, and would come in, despite a bad hip and congestive heart failure, and take the bus to meet his wife, who was a teacher, at the restaurant. He drank his vodka rocks with a splash of diet Coke, and was witty and warm. Kathy came and had dinner with her sister on Wednesday and told me that David had finally lost his struggle with his health problems. I was sad, but told Kathy that David was a guy who didn't waste a day of the life he was given. I will miss him. I kept thinking of the Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute to their late guitarist, Hillal Slovak on the bloodsugarsexmagic album, "My Lovely Man." I hope I'm wrong about my atheism, and that I'm good enough to get to where he's at.

"I'll see you later, my lovely man, If I can..."



In happier news, my friend and co-worker Leslie, who was the person who talked me into going to nursing school instead of Pharmacy school, found out yesterday that she passed her state nursing boards. I'm hoping that I can repeat that. I've ordered my book for my first rotation, Pediatrics, and plan to get ahead of the reading next week before classes resume (a week from Tuesday), and to get to the nursing computer lab to take some practice NCLEX (nursing board) tests.

1. Quinto Regimento- Jamie O'Reilly and Michael Smith
2. Holly Holy- Neil Diamond
3. All Tomorrow's Parties- The Velvet Undergroung
4. Absolutely Sweet Marie- Bob Dylan
5. Flowers On the Wall- The Statler Brothers
6. Cyprus Avenue- Van Morrison
7. The Living Years- Mike and the Mechanics
8. One Piece At A Time- Johnny Cash
9. Roll Over Beethoven- Chuck Berry
10. Itchycoo Park- The Small Faces

Notes:
1. From "Pasiones," a play about the Lincoln Brigade. Michael Smith also wrote "The Dutchman," which Steve Goodman covered.
2. Neil Diamond's music has grown on me over the years.
3. I remember John Cale saying something to the effect that the reason Nico got to sing in the Velvet Underground was that it was your basic "the guitar player's girlfriend gets to sing" situation.
4. From the fabulous "Blonde On Blonde" album.
5. Looked the Statler Brothers up a while back and discovered that they weren't actually brothers. Kurt Vonnegut cited this song as his favorite in an interview I read in the Rolling Stone years ago.
6. Every once in a while, I'll discover a Van Morrison song that I somehow missed. This was one of those.
7. From Genesis alum Mike Rutherford.
8. Johnny Cash in a comical turn.
9. Two good covers of this song-- by the Beatles and by, of all bands, ELO.
10. A big hunk of psychedelia from the mid sixties.

Johnny Yen's One-Hit Wonders: "Walk Away Renee" by the Lefte Banke

My schedule is making a liar of me; I'd promised myself to blog more often, especially since I have a five week Christmas break. I've been trying to get some big projects done that will make my day-to-day life a little more easy, a little more streamlined. I've plowed through a clean-up of my closet, a clean-up of my son's room (a lot of the stuff in there was mine) and a clean-up of the basement. I've also been working a lot-- trying to get ahead of finances, since it looks like my first clinical rotation will be Sundays, 7 am to 7 pm, which will mean I'll miss a day of work a week for about five weeks. There's been a big uptick in business at the restaurant I work at-- I think the economy is finally recovering. New Year's Eve was just insane-- I made as much money as I typically make in four shifts.

Somewhere in there, I've kept my promise to get some reading done. I've been plowing through Dan Epstein's "Big Hair and Plastic Grass: A Funky Ride Through Baseball and America in the '70's." I grew up watching baseball in the seventies, so the book is like a trip down memory lane, but with peeks behind the curtain to see the seamier side of the sport. I can't recommend the book enough.

Today is no exception schedule-wise. I'm trying to get a carload ready to run to the Salvation Army, but first I have to run my daughter to an audition at a performing arts high school she's applied to. And I can't tell you how much it means to me that she asked me, rather than her birth father (my wife's ex-husband) to bring her.

In any event, I decided I had time today to do a "One-Hit Wonder," The Left Banke's "Walk Away Renee."

The Left Banke was formed in New York City in 1965. According to Wikipedia, consisted of keyboard player/songwriter Michael Brown, guitarist George Cameron, bass guitarist Tom Finn, drummer Warren David and singer Steve Martin, who also used the name Steve Martin Caro. Brown's dad, Harry Lookofsky, a prominent session violin player, became the band's producer, manager and publisher (and was undoubtedly responsible for the prominence of the violin in "Walk Away Renee" and their other songs).

In true rock and roll fashion, personnel changes and problems began even before "Renee" was a hit. Drummer Warren David was kicked out of the band and guitarist George Cameron took over the drum slot and Jeff Winfield was brought in to play guitar.

"Walk Away Renee" was sold to Smash Records, a subsidiary of Chicago-based Mercury Records, and was, appropriately, a smash hit in 1966. By then, though, there were problems. Despite the fact that The Left Banke had a subsequent, though much smaller hit, "Pretty Ballerina," Michael Brown bolted, using the name of the group for himself. The other members of the group ("Holy Pink Floyd, Batman!") hired lawyers to try to keep Brown from using the name for himself. In the meantime, Brown continued to record and release records as "The Left Banke," using session musicians, including, very appropriately, future Spinal Tappper Michael McKean. The other band members, who still controlled the band's fan club, urged fans to boycott the Brown version of the band.

In 1967, the band members settled their differences (no doubt the money coming in from their hit singles influenced this), but there was still confusion over their status, and they were never able to capitalize on their success much.

Eventually Brown left the and ended up in the group The Stories, who had a huge hit in the early seventies with a cover of Hot Chocolate's song of interracial love, "Brother Louie," (a future "One-Hit Wonder) But again showing his abysmal timing, Brown had left the group by the time of the hit single.

Apparently "Renee" was a real person, and seemed to be Brown's muse; not only was "Walk Away Renee" about her, but so was their follow-up hit "Pretty Ballerina," as well as the lovely, but not-so-big-selling "She May Call You Up Tonight." "Walk Away Renee" stands as one of the most lovely hit singles of an era rich in great music.