Narcozoology pioneer Bubs has often warned not only of the dangers of mixing drugs and wildlife, but also of the danger of clowns. Today, my alert stepdaughter, heeding Bubs' warnings, shouted to me that there were a pack of clowns right in front of our home! I grabbed my camera to document the clown invasion. It turns out that the clowns were pouring out of the house next door like the proverbial clown car.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Lock your doors! Protect your children!
ReplyDeleteclowns to the left of me
ReplyDeletejokers to the right
here i am stuck in the middle with the snow
I won't spoil it for anyone who doesn't know what was actually going on but did you see the cops dressed as donuts? or the KFC group complete with a girl dressed as "the colonel"? pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteWorse yet, they appear to be "lost clowns".
ReplyDeleteThems the worst...
There goes the neighborhood sir.
ReplyDeleteI am very afraid. There's a clown in the White House AND next door?
ReplyDeleteI am really scared of clowns. How can anyone think it is a good thing for children?
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ReplyDeleteYour neighborhood is just a circus.
ReplyDeleteAt least they didn't leave any peanut casings behind.
ReplyDeleteI've heard about these random clownings in residential neighbourhoods, but I never really believed it until today.
ReplyDeleteDo you want to borrow my "No Bozos" flag to hang out front of your house? (I made it for our tailgates at Penn State.)
ReplyDeleteIt scares me and makes me smile all at once.
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME AS SOON AS THIS HAPPENED?!?
ReplyDeleteClowns creep me out just a bit.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter would have totally freaked out. No idea why she hates clowns, but there it is.
ReplyDeleteObviously it is time to sell the house.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, is it ok if I move in with you for a little while? I won't take up much room--just me and some cameras, and some video/audio equipment, and some small foreign children I intend to use as bait for the clowns, and a few guns and some extra boxes of ammo in case any of the clowns run faster than I expected...
ReplyDeleteDamn clowns, no neighborhood is safe from their perfidy.
ReplyDeleteThat's how horror movies start...
ReplyDeletedude, that is so wrong. put bars on your windows and get one of those Active Passive Things that the military were zapping at that journalist on Yahoo News yesterday.
ReplyDeleteTenS-
ReplyDeleteI took the pictures for evidence later-- if I had to harm them, it would have clearly been a case of self-defense.
Distributorcap-
I can never hear that song without thinking of the scene in Reservoir Dogs where it's playing. It makes my ear hurt.
Monica-
They may try to disguise themselves as other things, but you can see right through to their evil clowness.
Skyler's Dad-
I think that they were trying to find their way to the next group of children to emotionally scar for life.
Mob-
Yes, there can be such a thing as too much diversity. It stops right at clowns.
Erik-
As evil as they are, they'd be hard-pressed to do worse than the current pack of clowns, wouldn't they?
Bats in the Belfrey-
You and me and everyone else. We need to keep them away from children.
Suze-
All three rings, baby!
Kim-
No, just pistachios. Oh, wait-- that was me....
Katrocket-
It's the ugly truth.
Kristi-
Drastic times call for drastic measures.
Natalie-
Smile now, but wait until they're in front of your house...
Bubs-
I know I should have called in the expert, but it was a Saturday-- you need a day off. But yes, serious measures need to be taken. As a committed environmentalist, though, I feel we should shoot them with tranquilizer darts and release them into their native habitat, dinner theaters in the Adirondacks, where they can ply their unfunny comedy for an appreciative audience.
Macguffin-
To quote Lulu, is there anyone out there who actually likes clowns? Oh yeah, there are, I just remembered. Mimes like clowns.
Becky-
My son used to love clowns when he was little. Not sure how he feels now. I'm 46, and John Wayne Gacy totally ruined clowns for my generation.
Barbara-
No, I'm standing my ground. If it appears that the clown infestation is permanant, I'm calling in noted Narcozooligist and Clown Removal Specialist Bubs.
Dr. Monkerstein-
To quote Col. Kurtz, at the end of Apocalypse Now, "The horror...the horror...."
Beckeye-
Has a clown been portrayed nicely in a movie in the last 30 years? I think not.
Have you ever seen "Quick Change?" Bill Murray robs a bank dressed as a clown. As he enters the bank, pointing a gun at the elderly guard (played by Bob Elliot of the comedy team Bob and Ray, and who's also Chris Elliot's dad), the guard says "What kind of clown are you?" Murray deadpans "The crying-on-the-inside type, I guess."
Cap'n Ergo-
Pepper spray and cattle prods are only the start with clown defense.
Call the cops!
ReplyDeleteDoor to door campaign volunteers for Ron Paul or Dennis Kucinich, perhaps?
ReplyDeletei never found out who won! but i know lots of food was collected for the needy.
ReplyDeleteLooks like the Republican National Convention
ReplyDelete