He Who Laughs Last...

Coaster Punchman was blogging about memories about the whole junior high school and high school social status thing and it reminded me of a moment in my life.

When I was in seventh grade, my family moved to Western Springs, Illinois, a middle class 'burb west of Chicago.

Things did not go well. My brothers and I were different-- we'd lived most of our lives up to that point in the city. We weren't jocks, and my family didn't attend church. We got picked on ferociously.

At some point, the three primary bullies of my junior high, all bigger than me physically, decided that punching me whenever a teacher wasn't looking was the most fun sport of all.

I endured it, made it out of junior high school and thrived in high school. As high school ended, I won a scholarship to North Central College in Naperville. I lived at home, and would usually take a commuter train to school.

One day, I was running late and missed the train that would get me to school on time. If I was going to get there on time, I was going to have to drive.

I hopped into the car, my family's yellow 1973 Ford Pinto, and got ready to go. I looked at the dashboard and saw that the fuel gauge was down near "E." I needed to go to a gas station.

I was really running late now, especially with the time it was going to take to go to the gas station, so I pulled up to the Full Serve. The attendant came running out and asked "Fill 'er up, sir?"

I was at a loss for words for a moment. It was John Birk, the bully ringleader.

I regained my composure and said "Just five bucks worth will be fine, thanks."

As I drove off to Naperville, I chuckled to myself. I was going to college on a scholarship and poor John was working as a gas jockey. I thought to myself "I guess that bully thing didn't work out for you so well, did it John?"

Friday Random Ten For a Three Day Weekend

It was a pretty good week. There's a lot going on in the alternative school I work at, stemming from a huge fight the week before Christmas break. I'm keeping my fingers crossed-- it looks like they're making some positive changes. I made it to Friday and now have a three day weekend.

1. Jean and Dinah- Robert Mitchum
2. And I Moved- Pete Townsend
3. The Flesh Failures/Let the Sunshine In—Brian Auger and Julie Driscoll
4. Mandocello- Cheap Trick
5. Balloon Man- Robyn Hitchcock
6. Kiss and Say Goodbye- The Manhattans
7. I Will Not Go Quietly- Don Henley
8. Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee- Bob Dylan
9. Dirty Old Man- Fugs
10. Perfect Blue- Lloyd Cole

Comments:
1. Yes, a calypso album by Robert Mitchum. And it's pretty good! The first time I heard this one, my friend Dan brought it over. He'd found it on vinyl at a garage sale. He gave it to a another friend as a gag gift. The friend found out, much to Dan's chagrin, that the album's a rarity, and worth a bundle.

When I first started dating Kim, who's now my wife, I discovered that she owned the cd version. I knew then that I was dating the right girl.

2. From Pete Townsend's "Empty Glass" album. It came out shortly before his realization that he was an alcoholic. What a surprise-- the album title, the fact that nearly every song is about drinking, and that even the little markers showing who played on what track were noted with different shaped glasses. The album is still amazing.

3. This is a song from the Hair soundtrack, done by the couple probably best known for their great cover of Donovan's "Season of the Witch."

4. Tenacious S just posted about Cheap Trick. They were a group I was so-so with from when I was a teenager, and suddenly some time in my thirties realized how great they are.

5. This song has one of the great lines ever: "And it rained/Like a slow divorce." Reminds me of living with college buddies Dan and Mark in Wrigleyville in the eighties. Mark loved Robyn Hitchcock.

6. Holy guilty pleasure, Batman!

7. I was just quoting this song recently. "I will not lie down/I will not go quietly." It reminds me of Dylan Thomas' admonition not to go quietly into the night...

8. When I went to Shanghai with co-best friend Viktor Zeitgeist in May of 2002, we ended up finding a bar within walking distance of our hotel owned by a young Chinese guy and his mother. The guy was a huge Dylan fan, and every night would play the entire "Love and Theft" cd.

The picture of me at the top of this blog was from that trip. I ran in to an old friend right in the middle of Shanghai, and had Viktor take a picture of us together.

9. The Fugs were sixties pioneers in political incorrectness. If you've ever listened to Dr. Demento, you've probably heard their locker room anthem "Boobsalot." Ironically, Fug Ed Sanders, who went on to form the Holy Modal Rounders (who reformed a few years ago) wrote beautiful touching liner notes to a Phil Ochs best-of album some years ago (I'll be mailing those to you this weekend, Dale!)

10. The perfect dream song.

Hot Breaking News

I had just posted the last post about the exhausted and the mentally ill being used to fill the ranks needed to fight in Iraq when I discovered a way for those people to get out of service: show their stuff in skin magazines. U.S Air Force Staff Sgt. Michelle Manhart has been removed from active duty while her appearance in Playboy Magazine is being investigated.

I can see the investigation now:

Judge Advocate General: "I think I may have to examine the evidence further. I'll be in my office. I'm not to be disturbed."

Don't Tell George

As World War II ground toward its conclusion, the German Army became desperate for manpower. They began to fill up this void with old men and boys.

Apparently "President" Bush has taken a page from the Germans. The Pentagon has eliminated the limit on time a soldier can serve in active duty.

Morever, apparently mentally ill people are fair game for active duty. Apparently Pfc. Steven D. Green, who was the ringleader in the murder of an Iraqi family in December of 2005 had been diagnosed as a homicidal threat by a military mental health team, yet was sent back into active duty.

Like my neighbor's bumper sticker says-- "If you aren't outraged, you haven't been paying attention."

A Public Service

This is a public service for the handful of Americans who still support the war in Iraq, and believed that there was a compelling national interest in sending American troops there, and support the policies of this administration in general in dealing with the 9/11 attacks.

Just a few pointers:

1. Iraq and Saddam Hussein were not the culprits behind 9/11. What is more, most of the men who hijacked the jets and murdered 2,972 people were actually from Saudi Arabia, our ally, though the Saudi Arabian government was not involved. Ironically, Hussein actually rabidly attacked the Al Queda and any other fundamentalist Muslim group in Iraq because he percieved them, rightly, to be a threat to his regime.

2. Our "ally" Pakistan backed the horrid Taliban, who gave aid and shelter to the Al Queda, in Afghanistan. Oddly, our supposedly up-and-coming enemy Iran backed the Northern Alliance, the group the United States itself helped to defeat the Taliban.

3. Yes, most of the Al Queda are Muslim. However, only an infintismal minority of Muslims are in the Al Queda.

4. Most of the Muslims who live in the United States came here for economic opportunity and political freedom, and greatly appreciate what we have to offer here. Harassing them is not going to help prevent terrorism.

How Do You Ask a Man...

"How do you ask a man to be the last man to die in Vietnam. How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?"
-- John Kerry, April 23, 1971 before the United States Senate Foreign Relations Committee

"Maybe if we started listening, history would stop repeating itself"-- Lily Tomlin

I'm guessing that there are a few Americans who want a Mulligan on their 2004 vote. At least I hope so.

Alex, I'll Take....

"Alex, I'll take 'The Deer in the Headlights Look' for $1000"

Harry Potter and Email Mishaps

Dale had stories on his blog today of email fiascoes, and it reminded me of one I witnessed.

I worked as a substitute teacher in Evanston, Illinois a few years back. Evanston set up an email system that had settings in which a teacher or any other employee of the district could send an email to everyone in the district if they desired.

One of the teachers (whom I knew) took it upon herself to send emails to everybody in the district warning the other teachers that they should be discouraging the reading of the Harry Potter books, citing an article someone had sent her stating that the reading of Harry Potter was "sparking a rise in Satanism among nine-year-olds."

I hope she felt as foolish as she should when it was revealed that the article was a satirical piece from the humor paper The Onion

Here's an article about the hysterical (in both senses of the word) response to the article from religious zealots.