Sunday, September 28, 2008

Mother of the Year Award

One of the accomodations to my new life as a middle-aged college student was going to work full time as a waiter. It made sense-- the hours work out for childcare and school, and I generally like the job. It's a good job if you like people.

The downside of it is that you deal with whoever has the money to come into the restaurant. This is generally not a problem. I like most of our "regulars." In nearly thirty years of being a waiter on and off, the place I currently work at has by far the most nice (and generous) regulars.

There are a small handful of regulars that all of us dislike. And each of us has a few who really get on our nerves. Last night, one of the ones in that category came in. She comes in about once a month with her son, who is about 12 or 13. He's a nice kid-- polite and well-spoken. She's an attractive blonde who's probably in her late thirties. I'm pretty certain she's a single mother.

My beef? She's a shitty tipper. Her tips generally run between 8 to 12%. With her being a single mom, I might even be inclined to overlook that. Having done the single parent thing myself for a long stretch, I can certainly empathize. Here's the thing: she'll always have a couple of martinis made with "top shelf" vodka. She's got the dough for a couple of ten dollar martinis, but not to take care of the server.

Last night she won the Johnny Yen "Mother of the Year" award.

She was seated, as usual, on the patio, where I was working last night. She ordered her usual Grey Goose martini, "up" (chilled, but no ice in the drink) with blue cheese olives. Her son ordered hot tea.

I brought them their drinks and gave them a few minutes to peruse the menus.

When I went back to the table, her son ordered a grilled chicken sandwich. I asked him which side dish he wanted. He asked if he could get a salad with it rather than french fries. I was impressed that he was making such a good dietary choice. The salad was available, I told him. Just to make sure his mother knew, I mentioned that there was a $2.00 upcharge on it if you had a salad as a side dish.

"Oh, well then no, you can't have it," she informed her son.

Yeah, lady-- you've got two bucks to make your martini a "top shelf" one, but not two bucks so your kid can eat more healthily. Friggin' Mother of the Year, you are.

Oh, and her tip was about 12%.

17 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Only sexist men attack single mothers. :)

theideaofprogress said...

Next time she's in there, dust the crops.

That'll teach her.

Andi said...

Tell her there's a $100 upcharge for olives next time. :D

Beth said...

What a b*tch. I think you need to add a heavy surcharge to her Grey Goose.

Tenacious S said...

I've watched far too many times as parents have made choices for their children that basically only served their own selfish needs. Makes me madder than hell. Trust me on this one, I have parenting stories from my job that would make your hair curl and your blood boil.

GETkristiLOVE said...

She's giving us GG drinkers a bad name!

FranIAm said...

That is pathetic. Wow.

And lousy tippers... it says a lot.

SkylersDad said...

What a bitch, she probably just wanted the fries for herself!

lulu said...

In Mom's defense, does the kid eat the food he orders? I would assume at 13 that he does, but on the other hand, I have numerous friends whose kids order food they don't eat. She's upgrading the martini, but she knows it's not going to waste. On the other hand, no excuse for poor tipping.

Cap'n Ergo "Carthage" Jinglebollocks said...

I hate people.

Mob said...

Wow, that's just awful, I can't imagine any parent in their right mind discouraging their kid away from vegetables.

vikkitikkitavi said...

To say nothing of the fact that very few people can actually distinguish between GG and another good vodka. I have an acquaintance who never buys me a drink, but when I am going to the bar and ask him if I can buy him a drink, he always orders Grey Goose, which in a bar in LA is like a $15 drink. After a few years of that, I now always bring him Stoli, and he's never noticed.

Erik Donald France said...

Well, dude, having done a coule stints of this myself, now -- when I actually go out -- I always tip somewhere between 20-25 percent, 15 if the person's really horrible (very rare).

I hate people who are cheap (as oposed to economizing for real).

And I like those top shelf Grey Goose with stuffed olives on occasion, too.

Hope you get all the tips you deserve in future!

Bats in the Belfry said...

Deep fried potato-like bits are vegetables too, right? Anything deep-fried has to be good for you. Why else would it be so tasty?

Excuse me, I need to get back to my expensive gin drink and destroy my son's health.

MacGuffin said...

My motto has always been... If you can't afford to tip reasonably well, then you shouldn't be eating out, expecting fellow human beings to wait on you (literally) hand and foot. There seems to be such a paucity in empathy anymore. It's all ME ME ME, it seems.

Monica said...

wow, dude. i got nothin'. just wow.

Mnmom said...

Crappy mom. I hate those.