Thursday, May 17, 2007

Epic Fights: Bono vs. Billy Squier

The New York Times is reporting that Bono is in a fight with eighties rocker Billy Squier, and other residents of his co-op building near Central Park, about smoke from their fireplaces.

Here's link to the article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/16/nyregion/16bono.html?hp

Bono bought the co-op apartment from Apple Computer founder and chief exec Steven Jobs. The apartment was already notorious-- Jobs had spent millions on it over a number of years, but never moved into it, before he sold it to Bono.

The problem is with fireplaces that are in 40 of the 135 units in the San Remo building, which was built in 1930, and is home to a number of luminaries like Steve Spielberg, Mitch Miller, Steve Martin, etc. Apparently, Bono spoke out to the board about smoke pouring in to his apartment, and was understandably concerned for the health of his 4 children. For the time-being, residents are not allowed to use their fireplaces.

Who will win this one? And more importantly, how should they settle this one? A battle of the bands? That hardly seems fair-- Billy Squire, as the article points out, hasn't had a hit since 1984. Of course, Bono's band, U2, hasn't had an album I liked since 1991, so that might work out.

But since they're in Manahattan, and the two of them have pretty much gotten on my last nerve, I suggest they work it out like Snake Plissken and his opponent did in Escape From New York: in a boxing ring, with garbage can lids and baseball bats with 12 inch steel spikes.


The Verdict:
Bono in the third round.

10 comments:

The Elk said...

I was at ChicagoFest at Navy Pier when Squier opened for Alice Cooper. The Copper faithful chased him off the stage with beer bottles after only about 3 songs. I also saw him opening for Queen at Poplar Creek,we had grass seats so unfortunately he was out of range....

Splotchy said...

The only reason Bono would win is because his hair is so moussed-up and greasy that a baseball bat with spikes would merely glance off of him.

I imagine he would finish off Squier with a whirling Christ pose.

vikkitikkitavi said...

You can't have Billy Squier involved AND call it "epic." It's either one or the other.

Skylers Dad said...

Ooooh, I smell pay per view here!

lulu said...

I was at the Poplar Creek show! It was the very first concert I was allowed to go to without my parents!

Toccata said...

Funny post and funny comments. What more does one need?

GETkristiLOVE said...

This is freaky - I went to the Oasis (indoor sand court place) to play volleyball tonight and they were playing Billy Squier when I walked in. I even remarked about it to my teammate because I hadn't heard him in so long, then I come home and read your post. I think it's a sign. I call Squier to stroke me in the 6th.

Johnny Yen said...

Elk-
There was a history of that at Chicagofest-- the band Bohemia had to leave the stage after someone hit the singer with a whiskey bottle.

Splotchy-
He is full of himself, isn't he?

Vikki-
I was amazed that Squire actually saved enough of the money from his 15 minutes to be rich. I thought he'd be playing the Indian casinos.

Skyler's Dad-
Maybe they can do a tag match with Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell.

Lulu-
Oh my-- Poplar Creek-- I saw the Moody Blues there around the same time. I was always amazed how steep the lawn seating was when I went to a show there.

Toccata-
Thanks!

Kristi-
I think these things are like celebrity deaths-- they come in threes. Be prepared for another visit from Billy Squire.

vikkitikkitavi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
vikkitikkitavi said...

I'm sure Squier is rich from residuals. Every time some sports team somewhere plays "The Stroke," he gets a check.

Although that didn't keep Gary Glitter out of trouble...