Usually freaks and animal attacks are Bubs' area of expertise, but I had to share this one, which combines elements of both, with you bloggers: a Wookie impersonator was arrested in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater for head-butting a tour guide who had objected to him "harassing and touching tourists."The attackee, Brian Sapir, told the police that he was asking the Wookie to stop harassing two young Japanese tourists, when the street-performer/Wookie Impersonator, Frederick Evan Young, who is 44 years old, and from Los Angeles, head-butted him and shouted "Nobody tells this wookie what to do!."
It's never good when they refer to themselves in the third person.
Police Lt. Paul Vernon stated "The lesson here is you can have the force with you. You just can't use illegal force." I swear to god I didn't make that up.
Han Solo was unavailable for commment.
Perhaps we'll see more about this on "Troopers," a spin-off of the hit television show "Cops." See below.
14 comments:
So that's where Wesly Willis' soul ended up. Just so you know I have had Lust For Life stuck in my head for a good week and I am blaming you.
You know Brian, as your wife, I have never told you that I was very very attracted to Chewie as a young girl. . .
Maybe we should go up to Fantasy Costume. Wink Wink.
You should never refer to yourself in third person, you should never refer to yourself as a WOOKIE in third person.
Bravo, Johnny! What a great story!
I've always told my girls--the day you show up to work dressed in an animal costume or as a large item of fast food, you'll know your education didn't work out like you thought it would.
I wonder if Chewbacca blogged about this on his site
Hey Johnny, I just thought of something.
If you're going to start running freak stories, does that mean I'm going to have to actually write thoughtful pieces that say something worthwhile?
Or can I just keep doing the shallow shit I been doing?
Maybe the Wookie dude and that Tigger guy who punched out a kid at Disney could start a support group. It's likely another case of costume rage.
Natalie-
You say that (Lust For Life stuck in your head) like it's a bad thing...
Kim-
That would explain your first marriage...
Lu-
Oh my god, you are so, so right. It should have been "It's never good when they refer to themselves in the third person. And even worse when they refer to themselves as wookies in the third person."
Bubs-
I think as good as I am certain you are at your job, you may have missed a brilliant career as a high school or college career counselor.
And I defer to your genius as a reporter of freak stories-- this one was just too good to let by. And your pieces are more thoughtful than you'll ever know.
Grant-
That is fucking brilliant.
Do you recognize something in one of those pictures on that ? Specifically the Ronald McDonald bench? It's the exact same type of bench I was sitting on in Shanghai, China for the picture I use on my blog. In the five mile long outdoor mall I took that in, middle eastern militants weren't wrecking and burning it. Though, as I recall, I was a little lit myself.
Barbara-
This seems to be a growing problem in our society, doesn't it? I'm honored to have been there when you brought this burning issue to the front burner.
Of course, there may be a simple explanation-- see Bubs' comment about careers and costumes.
I heard a story awhile back about a guy dressed as Freddy Krueger attacking someone as well.
Nice to know what areas of the touristing to avoid like a plague if we ever visit L.A.
You've out-bubbed Bub. Hoe can he top a Walking Talking Wookie Impersonator Talking to Himself In The Third Person.
Yes! Bravo!
Mob-
I hadn't heard of the Krueger attacks.
Sounds to me, actually, that those are the entertaining places.
Danny-
Oh no way, I can't hold a candle to the quality and quantity of Bubs' freak and animal attack reportage.
It's actually one of the better songs to ever be stuck in my head. I'm not mad about that. Anything stuck in a head for too long can be a bit scary though.
I saw Darth Vader wailing on a sax in Victoria B.C. and he seemed really nice. Had the lungs for it too.
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