Monday, February 19, 2007

When I Win the Lottery


Well I lost an eye in Mexico
Lost two teeth where I
don't know
People see me comin' and they move to
the other side of the road
I robbed a liquor store to make
myself at home a few times
Borrowed myself a car when I
needed it
I got me a shack at the bottom of the road
Fixin' cars and givin' tows
Spendin' all
my money on the lottery
When I win the lottery gonna buy
all girls on my block
A color TV and a bottle of French
perfume
When I win the lottery gonna donate half my money
to the city
So they have to name a street or a school or a
park after me
When I win the lottery

-"When I Win the Lottery," Camper Van Beethoven

You know who really pisses me off? Those people who win huge amounts of money in the lottery and have no idea what they're going to do with the money.

I dunno-- I guess I could quit my job, but gee, I don't know what I'd do with my time. I think me and the missus are gonna buy a Winnebago and do a little traveling...

Right there, their prize should be revoked. They have no right to win the lottery. They have no idea how to spend the money.

Not these people, though:

City Sues Lottery Winners Over Parties

The city of Portland, Oregon is suing the winners of a $2.6 Million lottery prize, alleging "they held four months of parties with public sex, fights and signs of drug dealing."

The couple, Elizabeth and Samuel Howard accepted an $871,000 lump sum payment and have been, apparently living it up. The police have been called 52 times in four months.

Of course, maybe they belong in the category of people who don't deserve the prize. Isn't the idea to give up work, even if it was of the illegal variety?

9 comments:

GETkristiLOVE said...

I'd definitely quit my job, no doubt about that. I'd also build my own hockey rink and let all my Ho friends skate for free. I think it's important to have goals.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'd quit my job if I found $50 on the street!

Bubs said...

I could buy an abandoned missile silo and never be heard from again.

Danny Tagalog said...

My jobs would go immediately - who wants to work? Those fools are going to lose all those years of potential discovery and luxury.

Natalie said...

Honestly, I would keep working. Probably part-time but I would need to keep doing meaningful things. I would go back to school and get tons of degrees in useless things like literary criticism. I would also buy a modest home and a car and put away lots of money for my future children's education. However, since I never play this will not happen.

Johnny Yen said...

Kristi-
Good to know you wouldn't just become a layabout.

I have a feeling you'd have a nice tequila bar installed in the rink.

Barbara-
I'm feeling that way today too.

Bubs-
Did you see on "Weird America" on the History Channel, the guy who turned the old silo in to his home? Way cool.

I'd love to live in a lighthouse part of the year.

Danny-
Yeah, think of it-- they could invest it at a moderate return and never have to work again.

I saw a news story about a guy who won over $20 million and is dead broke. It made me feel less bad about filing for bankruptcy a couple of years ago.

Natalie-
I'd spend my time playing with my kids, reading, writing, travelling. I'd buy an Airstream trailer. My wife could quit her job, and we'd spend a lot of time travelling-- visiting her family in Minneapolis, and my friends out on the west coast.

Palette said...

Jesus, you Kim and those two kids in an airstream bus. I wonder what would be the first to blow- Kim or the septic system?

kim said...

I can guarantee you that the only "kids" in the Airstream will be Brian and myself. And that is ONLY if he submits to my orgazational guidelines. Otherwise, he will be in the truck pulling the Airstream, and I will be in the Airstream.

It's not a bus.

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