My first marriage started almost ten years ago (April) and ended just a few months later, on July 4, 1997 in a spectacular way.
The issue was my son. One day, wife #1 decided that he was a problem. Specifically, she was being inconvenienced by him; I was in the middle of a bitter custody fight with my ex-girlfriend. It was ugly, yes. It inconvenienced her, yes. But he was three years old. I was the only father, and only stable parent he had. There were, at that point, about 2.5 billion women on the planet, including my wife. Between her and my son, guess who was going to win that one?
With that in mind, I read a couple of news stories and wondered how people can get to important positions and have such poor judgment.
First comes San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsome. He won a really tough race to become mayor, probably largely thanks to a long-trusted aide Alex Tourk, who ran his campaign.
So how does Newsome thank Tourk? By boinking his wife.
Now, here's a rich, handsome, relatively young (39) guy who's mayor of one of my favorite cities. I've been to San Francisco. I'm a middle-aged, middle-class schlub with no wealth or power, and I've been hit on by pretty women there in San Francico (before I was married, of course, to my lovely wife). So of all the now 3 billion women on the planet, of the hundreds of thousands of available women just in the Bay Area, he has to schtup the wife of the guy who got him to where he was. This is, to say the least, astonishingly bad judgement, even when drunk.
Even if he loses the election in Novemember, he'll still be a rich business owner. His life is not ruined. I can't say the same about astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak.
Capt. Nowak achieved the childhood dream of many, many guys-- including myself-- and became a NASA astronaut. Imagine for a moment the discipline and drive it took to get to her job.
Now she is in jail charged with many charges including attempted kidnapping, attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery.
She was having a relationship with another astronaut. She found out he was seeing someone else. Now, what should she have done? Dumped his lame ass and moved on. She is successful and good-looking. She shouldn't have much trouble, again, finding another guy, maybe even a single, faithful, nice guy in the pool of 3 billion men on this planet. Instead, she drove hundreds of miles non-stop, wearing a diaper so that she did not have to stop for a washroom break and attempted to kidnap her loser boyfriend's other flame.
In one swoop, she has ruined her life. All the years of work, gone. I guarantee no one will trust her to fly in space again. She'll be the punchline on every talk show tonight. Even if she can get the charges reduced and get off with supervision, her life and career are ruined. Over a guy. And if she was going to terrorize someone, why wasn't it the guy? He was the asshole!
I can't say that I'm the smartest guy in the world. I'm not the mayor of San Francisco. I'm not an astronaut. But when it's come to choices I made, I've done the math. There is always someone else out there who will appreciate you and understand what's important to you.
Or at the very least isn't married to the person who's going to run your campaign.