Catching Up With the Tags

Bubs was kind enough to tag me recently with the Big Dumb Meme, a meme that was started by my close personal friend Deadspot, and has been burning up the blogosphere. I'm hoping that Deadspot doesn't let this go to his head, and become one of those out-of-control celebrities. He won't look pretty in rehab. He'll get in trouble for making fun of Lindsay Lohan.

In any event, I actually did this one already, but fortunately I have had no shortage of dumb statements in my life. I also figure that it's okay to add some dumb things said to friends.

Here's the meme, just to remind you:

"For this meme, I'm going to ask you to answer three (hopefully not dumb) questions: What is the dumbest question you ever been asked? Why was it it dumb? And, even though it won't help, because answering a dumb question never does, what's the answer? (Or, as I like to think of them: The Big Dumb Question, The Big Dumb Reason, and The Big Dumb Answer.)"

The other night at the restaurant, I had a customer ask a question that I get occasionally. He ordered a seafood dish we have.




Big dumb question: "Is it fresh or frozen."
Answer: "Um, frozen."
Reason For Dumbness of the Question: This guy was not young-- about sixty-- and should already know that unless you're paying extortionate prices, if you are ordering nearly any fish in the midwestern United States (i.e. not on either coast) it was definitely frozen. The nearest ocean is over 1,000 miles away. Would you want fish that was caught and served, unfrozen in the interim, a couple of days later? The only "fresh, not frozen" seafood served in the Midwest is flown in at enormous cost. Your dinner wouldn't cost just $14.95 if that were the case.

Bubs pointed out that he tagged me because he assumed that as an educator, I had more than my fair share of dumb questions. He was absolutely correct in that assumption.

Dumb question: "Am I passing your class, Mr. Yen?"
Answer: "Um, no, I, uh, don't think so."
Reason for Dumbness of Question: I only have two grades for you in my gradebook-- the two assignments you copied off of someone the two days you showed up this week, which happened to be the last week of the semester.

One of my favorites was when I was a Teaching Assistant while in grad school-- sometimes I had to teach the State and Local Government class, which fulfilled the Constitution requirement. You could always spot the Business Majors (i.e. the "I don't want to learn anything I don't absolutely have to" majors). I got this one a lot.

Question: "Will that be on the test?"
Answer: "Um, it might be."
Reason for Dumbness of Question: While I can't absolutely guarantee that it will be on the test, the fact that the State of Illinois built a large University out in the middle of the cornfields, spent a lot of money paying professors and teaching assistants, devloping a curriculum, building dorms, plus the fact that you or your parents are paying a bunch of tuition for you to attend this institution-- yeah, I'm guessing that there's a chance someone will want you to show that you actually learned something.

No, I'm kidding. I'm actually up here talking about special districting and its effect on tax structures because I really like talking about it.

My friend Jamie sold his townhouse in Elk Grove Village to a couple some years ago. As they closed in on the sale, Jamie was kindly showing them around the house. He brought one of them to his car to show them the garage door opener. He stated the obvious: "You just sit here and hit the button and it opens or closes."

The woman looked at him with puzzlement and asked "Do you mean you have to be sitting in the car for it to work?"

I don't think any explanation is needed on that one.