Friday, June 08, 2007

Fashion Trends I Am Not Down With

Note to Young People. Here are some current fashion trends that I am not okay with:

Wearing pajama pants in public
This does not make you look cool. It makes you look like an escaped mental patient.

Crocs on Guys
My stepdaughter loves her Crocs because, she points out, they're comfortable, so I'll tolerate them on girls. But lately I've been seeing them on guys' feet, and that is just so wrong.

Capri Pants on Guys
If guys wearing Crocs is wrong, this is even wronger.

Is wronger a word?

Scarface T-Shirts
Great frickin' role model, dudes. Um, did you not catch the end of the movie?

This "Cranky Middle-Aged Guy" moment has been brought to you by the number "46." As in 46 years.


Bubs said...

I scored 4/5 on the Johnny Yen cranky scale. The pajama pants don't bug me too much, unless there's a logo imprinted across the butt. I don't like butt logo pants.

Of the remaining items, I find the man-pris to be the worst of the bunch.

Johnny Yen said...

I got tipped over the edge on the man-pris by the fact that the most annoying parent on my son's baseball team wears them. He also constantly rides his son, except when he's on his ever-present cell phone, or talking to the vacant trophy girlfriend with the store-bought boobies.

And on top of that, he doesn't wear a belt, so he has a "crack" problem.

Did I mention that this guy annoys me?

Anonymous said...

you so riiiight!! The PJ's in public are semi-tolerable by teens-- they're just pushing the envelope on social mores and whatnot. it's the ADULTS who are trying to ACT like teens showing up in my Bullseye not only in PJ pants but in their SLIPPERS that bother me. I don't even EXPECT teens to make any sense, but if you're in your mid/late 30's and you're out in your jams and slippers, it sends a big ol' message to the world: "I've given up."

as for the Crocs-- I had a pair of black ones and they were REALLY comfy. I'm all for gender bending, though if I bought another pair, I'd probably buy them in bright orange.

Capris for guys... Well, that's a bit different. We used to call those "floods" and ask the wearer, "what, you couldn't afford $2 more to get the rest o' them pants??"

Scarface tee-shirts: not nearly as bad as the attitude-twards-school-and-authority shirts that tick me off. Actually, does anyone READ tee-shirts anymore??

Skylers Dad said...

Wronger is a word, but only when used with Capri pants on guys. That is soooo wrong it is wronger!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I can sort of understand manpris, actually. I wear them all the time in the summer, because they are the ultimate in comfort. I guess I should juts be grateful to be a woman so as not to incur your wrath!

Erik Donald France said...

I'm with you, Johnny. I don't like Capri pants on women, either. Hideous. No to shorts in public settings, also. No to baseball caps at non-sporting eateries. Try to look good, people -- if you're anywhere near me, anyway. Now that sounds cranky, eh? It's almost margarita time, yeah!

vikkitikkitavi said...



P.S. There are such things as shoes that are comfortable without making your feet look like fluorescent meatloaves.

deadspot said...

I don't know why, but the word "meatloaves" is really funny.

Why, yes, I do need to get out more often. Why do you ask?

'Bubbles' said...

There is a pair of crocs in my house. I did NOT buy them. Thing 3 came home with them after his summer time with Mr. Ex. Mr. Ex wears white socks with Birkies.... need I say more?

No one here has choosen the PJ's in public around here, but Thing 2's cheer coaches gave all the girls flannel boxers with words ironed on the butt (double yuck) to wear to school after a big win. (gag)

Haven't seen man capris! I live in cowboy country.... may that's why. Er, or it is because I only see sub-contractors and hispanic laborers. hmmmm.

I really need to get out more, I think.

Natalie said...

I am guilty of rolling myself to class a few times in PJs in college. Unfortunately, my early morning professor agreed with you and told my to get dressed. I will say those with words on the butt are uncalled for in all cases. Everything else I agree with but will agree with others in that crocs and capris are horrid and should not be worn by anyone unless in the comfort of your home.

The Elk said...

Guess What you're getting for Christmas and your next birthday heh heh heh.....

lulu said...

I have worn my PJ bottoms to the store, but only the solid navy blue ones, which look pretty much like sweatpants, the red ones with the penquins on them I ave for home use.

I also own crocs, but the flipflops, which are far less unattractive than the clogs. I pretty much only where them to the beach.

Can you please add visors worn backwards to the list? Particularly when worn upside down.

Reese said...

Crocs are fug.

Evil Spock said...

What guys are wearing capris?!? They deserve to be shot!

Yeah, the Scarface thing is so yesterday. Didn't anybody see Carlito's Way?

Oh, and girls can wear pajama pants whenever they want; Evil Spock finds it cute on them. Actually cute girls can wear whatever they please.

Mob said...

In order:

I think I may have already mentioned this on Bub's site, but the whole pajamas in public thing makes me want to kinda sidle up to them and ask "You realize you're not inside you home right now, don't you?"

Crocs I could kinda get behind if they didn't look like they were made by Tupperware or Rubbermaid. I'm surprisingly snobby about clothing at the wierdest times.

Who started the capri trend? I've never seen it in person, unless what I've assumed were low-riding shorts were actually man-pris.

I suppose the Scarface paraphenalia has reached some sort of ironic status in our society, especially when gangsta rappers became fascinated with it awhile back.

cheer34 said...

I love crocs!!!!! Capris on men wearing crocs are def. wronger!
PJ bottoms are a tween thing and should only be worn out in public by tweens.

Scareface Tees are scary. Only bad people wear them or wannabe bad people.

Dale said...

Excellent excellent excellent Johnny Yen. Death to the infidels. Or at least, real clothing choices.

Beth said...

NOBODY should be caught outside their bedroom in Crocs. I won't even try 'em on.

BeckEye said...

I kind of like when guys wear capris because then I don't have to wonder if they're straight or not.

I really really hate the capris-with-boots look that is sweeping the nation. I wrote a tirade on that once before though, so I won't bust a vein talking too much about it again.

anandamide said...

how about "dubious wearing of sunglasses on head as fashion accessory"? i mean, if you saw a guy in a scarface t-shirt, capri pants and crocs, wouldn't you expect a pair of ray-bans as a permanent fixture on his head?

Kathy said...

I blogged about crocs at kindergarten graduation. I can only imagine how you feel about Jibbitz.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Coming from the land where Crocs were invented, let me just assure you that they do not belong on any feet, anywhere, regardless of gender, unless you're age five or below and do not know any better.